Princess Azula Conquers the Multiverse
by Ronden Kiagre
Summary: The world is on fire, and Harry Dresden is 93% sure that it isn't entirely his fault. The same cannot necessarily be said for the girl in the straight jacket.
1. Prologue

Prologue: A Wicked Damsel, and a Wizard in Distress

Harry woke to the sound of a mad-max reject banging a tire iron on the Blue Beetle's hood.

"Hey!"

The supremely filthy (and presumably fragrant) man jumped in surprise and and began rapidly fiddling with one of the many straps adorning his person.

"What the hell do you think you're-"

It was at this point that Harry stopped, having noticed that the object the leather-bound interloper was currently unlimbering from his back looked suspiciously like a grenade launcher.

Reflexes given wings by adrenaline had his .357 out and firing in the time it took him to blink in surprise. While three magnum rounds through the chest seemed sufficient to deter the man from further vandalism, the noise also seemed to have alerted his friends.

Five dead biker wannabes (lacking the prerequisite motorcycles) and several dozen new bullet-holes in his car later (courtesy of the aforementioned assholes), Harry and Mouse were standing in the middle of the road, surrounded by a howling dust storm coming off the salt flats to the north, glaring angrily at a cheerful wooden sign, situated in the midst of what had probably been a truck stop in some bygone era, which read: "Welcome to Nevada".

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Azula woke to an unholy cacophony that could only be the secret bastard love-child of a thunderstorm and an artillery barrage going through its rebellious teenage phase. Rolling onto her side to remove her face from reeking stained upholstery, the Princess (not for the first time) swore undying vengeance unto the third generation against whomever had invented straight jackets. And her brother, as long as she was at it. And her uncle, just to be safe.

Upon getting as clear a view of her surroundings as possible, given their cramped nature, she quickly determined that what little she could see did not please her in the slightest. She was lying on a bench in the back of what appeared to be some kind of tank that had been refitted for luxury transport, then thoroughly destroyed by time and neglect, followed far more recently by significant quantities of flying shrapnel. The only positive things she could say about the situation were that the noise had stopped, and that she no longer appeared to be in the asylum.

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"Bullshit."

Mouse tilted his head inquiringly.

"One does not simply wake up in Nevada with no idea how they got there, surrounded by feral bikers."

Mouse continued to gaze at him levely.

"Ok fine, that might happen to some people, but it really shouldn't be happening to me. I don't drink _nearly_ enough."

Mouse just chuffed quietly and pushed his head under Harry's hand for some well deserved petting and ear-rubs.

"Dammit, if shit like this is gonna keep happening to me, I should at least be given enough warning to get appropriately hammered first."

Mouse grunted happily, and leaned against Harry's leg, causing the grown man to stumble sideways under the Tibetan Masstif's massive hairy bulk.

Harry was cut off by a series of loud thumps emitted from the back of the Blue Beetle. Revolver drawn, he crept over to the passenger side of the car, and wrenched open the back door.

"Well this is certainly a new experience." The wizard drawled. "And I thought the dead bikers would be a pain in the ass to explain to the police."

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 _I'm just going to get this one out of the way. As the title and summary might imply, this is going to be a Massively Multiplayer crossover. Bonus points if you can guess what universe Harry and Azula are in right now, but a few others you can expect to see are Big Trouble in Little China, Percy Jackson, and the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Now you may have come to the conclusion by now that this won't be a particularly serious story. No. No it will not (I wouldn't personally call it crack, seeing as it has a plot, but some of you may disagree). Cheers._

 _PS. Timeline-wise, this takes place about a year after Sozin's Comet, and directly between Turn Coat and Changes._


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

A Life Changing Field Trip With Zuko

Toph woke to the grinding rumble of . . . something, vibrating down a thick wooden beam into the dirt-and-cobblestone floor. Sparky was unconscious on the floor next to her, two men were standing near the . . . thing, and the vibrations coming from the overturned crate a few feet away indicated that someone was sitting very quietly on top of it. Slapping her hand into the floor, she sank the crate and its occupant into the ground and-

* * *

Toph woke to the grinding rumble of . . . something, vibrating down a thick wooden beam into the dirt-and-cobblestone floor.

 _What._

"I do apologize for that, but it was necessary to avoid a situation that would have been quite embarrassing and messy for all involved. And I would rather not have to explain to the Abbot why our temple was demolished." Said the man on the crate with a _very_ strange accent.

"What's going on? And why shouldn't I make sure you end up giving that explanation from a body cast?"

"One thing at a time. As to your more urgent question, because if you did that, I would not be able to assist you and your friend in saving a great many lives. As to the first, . . . Truthfully? I'm not entirely sure. Which is rather unusual if I do say so myself. Ah, I see the Firelord is awake."

Toph was impressed; Sparky was _very_ good at pretending to be asleep. If she couldn't feel his breathing and heartbeat through the ground she probably wouldn't have noticed herself.

"You'd better have more information than that if you want our help." Zuko rasped, sitting up.

"And get of that crate so I can see you properly."

"Ah. Of course. My apologies." The man said, obligingly hopping down and sitting cross-legged on the floor.

"Now. It seems I have you two at a bit of a disadvantage, so. Introductions. I am Lu-Tze, but since we're friends, you can call me Sweeper."

"We're not friends." Toph and Zuko said in unison.

"A shame. I rather hope we can change that, as I believe we will be working together for quite some time."

"Get with the explaining already."

"Very well. Azula has escaped from her asylum. More specifically someone has broken her out. We have yet to determine who or why."

"Considering the level of security I placed around her, I find it unlikely that you would know about an escape before I did. And that still doesn't explain the kidnapping."

"I learned about the escape before you because I discovered it before it happened. I believe it was carried out less than five minutes ago."

"And you didn't warn the proper authorities because?" Toph asked incredulously.

"I was prevented from contacting them. And even if I had, I suspect there is next to nothing that could have been done."

"Explain. Now." Zuko commanded, now visibly frustrated.

"Tell me, do either of you know anything about time travel?"

Zuko snorted.

"You mean like in those copper-dreadfuls my uncle used to make me read? Go back and change the past?"

"It's rather more complicated than that. One could indeed go backward or forward. The _really_ interesting things start happening when you go _sideways_ , or up or down, to all of the _could-have-beens_."

"Huh?"

"I think I know what he's getting at." Zuko said. "You're saying that there are a bunch of other worlds. Just like our own except that something went different at a key moment in history."

"Or at a not-so-key moment; some of them would be completely indistinguishable unless you were omniscient, but generally yes."

"That's a load of cow-pig shit."

"Well if you're so certain, perhaps you should ask your young earthbending friend where she thinks we are."

Stretching her senses, Toph took in the feel of the city outside.

"It feels a bit like the Lower Ring in Ba Sing Se, but _way_ filthier. And there's a, well I wouldn't feel comfortable calling it a river, the fishery at Jang Hui was cleaner, and there's a bunch of animals I don't recognize all over the place. Some of them feel a bit like four-legged ostrich-horses."

She could feel Sparky's surprise and disgust as he tried to picture the level of grossness she had just described.

"You are in Ankh-Morpork. One of those _could-have-beens_ I mentioned, and a rather distant one from your world at that."

"Then why-" Zuko started, before apparently coming to a realization. "You can move people between different worlds, otherwise we couldn't be here, and that's how they broke Azula out."

"Yes. It is _extremely_ difficult to be discreet when moving between worlds; it creates ripples in time, which can be detected and read if you have the right instruments.

Normally, if someone were meddling so severely, it would be the job of myself and my colleagues to stop them. But something has been restricting our travel. I don't know _how_ ; it shouldn't even be possible to do so. But whoever or whatever is doing this is almost certainly either behind your sister's escape or in league with the ones who are."

"So why are we here?"

"We have so far been prevented from sending anyone to act against Azula directly. It is my belief that we will only be allowed to confront her once her benefactors are certain of her victory over whatever forces we might bring to bear. We have already sent your friends Sokka and Suki on their own missions, to recruit more allies and investigate alternate means of travel between worlds. We intend for _you_ to go learn a few tricks, and perhaps make a few friends as well, so you might stand a chance when you do confront the wayward princess."

"I have responsibilities back home." Zuko protested weakly.

"I'm certain your uncle can cover for you for a while, and we will try to send you back to as close to the time of your departure as possible once this is all over. And do you really think allowing your sister to go free any longer than necessary is a wise course of action?"

Zuko sighed in resignation.

"Come on Sparky. Tell me you're not at least a little excited at the idea of an entire new world full of butt to kick."

"And people who want to kill us."

"They don't even know we exist yet."

"Trust me. They'll find a reason."

"You are way to pessimistic for someone who hangs out with Twinkletoes as much as you do."

Sighing again, Zuko turned back to Sweeper.

"Where are we Going?"


End file.
